No More Wine

"I have no more wine."

My understanding is that we pray this prayer to Mary who is the Mediatrix of all Grace when we are at the end of the rope.

I prayed this prayer this morning.

It was yet another day when I woke up not feeling well at all, not having any health insurance because I can't afford it and I don't qualify for it anyway now that I have Multiple Sclerosis -- a pre-existing condition.

I do have a bunch of supplemental health insurance policies I bought for myself through Aflac. It was suggested to me that it was a good idea to get some money up front and to get my business going. The only problem is, my business with Aflac really didn't get going. And some of the policies I signed up for I really shouldn't have due to the Multiple Sclerosis. I hadn't read the underwriting questions well enough. I realized this months after I had purchased them.

So I feel a wreck and a mess.

Mary, I have no more wine.

I think I have a knack for fundraising and development much more than straight sales. I find it pretty easy to ask people for money for a good cause.

So I guess I will see if I can get a job in fundraising or development for a charity, university or non-profit organization.

I feel sad and tired and worried.

Meanwhile, I can canvas for Clean Water Action and I will. I hope and pray I find an indoor job that will allow me to pay my rent and car payments and insurance and gas and basic living expenses by the end of October.

My niece is so sweet. I just love her. She had an idea on Friday and she was very sincere. She said "Aunt Patty, I know what you should do. Forget Aflac, forget selling these party lights or Avon or anything. You should sell True Romance. You'd be great at it. Those parties are fun and everybody loves that stuff."

My niece is correct in that women really do love those parties. She is also correct that I would probably make quite a lot of money at it. The only problem is, I can't really sell sex toys to unmarried women as a devout Catholic. No judgement ladies, it just would be a conflict of interest.

I went on a date of sorts (met a Catholic guy from a Catholic site and walked for some hours) Saturday night. He is a philosopher. I thought he would appreciate the dilemma. He suggested I could sell some food product called Simple Eating or something like that. I didn't mention to him that I have an eating disorder but I did tell him I struggle with my weight. I didn't tell him it wasn't for me. But I know it isn't. Selling food products that offer lifestyle solutions generally isn't something I should be selling. It's a conflict of interest with the 12-step food programs that I work.

But I am open to considering some other product like that -- something that is genuinely profitable that isn't health insurance that I don't qualify, that isn't food that I can't eat and isn't a sex toy that I can't use.

So -- if you happen to know of a development or fundraising job or if you happen to know of a product that sells well that isn't food, isn't health insurance and isn't one of those other things, let me know.

Meanwhile I am considering car and property insurance sales. I did have an offer to do that out of a local office and I am checking into it. My understanding is that it would be part-time, though. And I am not sure that that is whee God is leading me.

All I know is this:

Mary, I have no more wine. Please ask your son to intervene as soon as possible. This is difficult for me.